Tuesday, October 2, 2012

I Hate Ranting But...

I’m feeling overwhelmed. There I admitted it. But I don’t know if it’s the time of year, or the point I’m at in my menstrual cycle (and right now we’re in the post stage, though I suppose you could call it pre-pre-pre stage) *sigh*

So what is making me feel overwhelmed?

Well the first thing that comes to mind is that – my boss is leaving. An opportunity came knocking and she’s taken it. This brings up many thoughts and questions in my mind:Am I doing the wrong thing by not looking/keeping my eyes peeled? Is my loyalty to the company that hires me an out dated thing? – It does seem old fashioned, but like a guy who is courteous and respectful to a woman, it doesn’t go out of style... right?
  • I’m feeling a little betrayed that she’s leaving, but it’s not like she can say, why don’t you come with me.
  • I’m feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities I’m going to be taking over. Like sending out meeting minutes from management Review and making sure all the executive managers approve it.
  • I’m worried I won’t make it. I’ll fail and the company will crumble.
Yes that last one is a bit of an exaggeration, but for 6 to 8 weeks I will be a department of 1, because my other coworker, who deals with a lot of the daily stuff, will be on Maternity leave. While she says she’s coming back, I have to prepare for the possibility that she might not. You never know... and suddenly I find myself thankful for the shortness of Maternity leave. If I lived and worked in the UK I could be a department for six months!

Wow did that make my mind boggle and put things in a little perspective.

So beyond that little stressing development I’ve piled onto my life:
  • POD Formatting for hire - I’ve a contract with MWiDP, thanks to Anne R Allen and her worry about getting How to be a Writer in the E-Age out in time for her conference (my paperback just arrived *grins*). So along with formatting the 10 to 15 books mark’s got me listed for I’m also helping someone else with hers. (She’s even paid me.)
  • Keeping up with spending time working on writing every day, be it word count or planning or world building. This is part of my retirement plan folks. I have to keep marching forward, so that when I’m ready I can start putting books out there one after another.
  • Teaching Sunday school about every other week. So far I plan the morning before... I’d like to give it more fore though, but I never seem to.
  • Making Halloween Costumes (I have a drafted post on that, that I’ve not gotten up) potentially in the next two weeks, ready for an event my kids will be going to.
  • Keeping up with this blog. I’ve been horrible at it since I hit the one year mark in June. Kind of like my Diaries... only better, because those never had the weekly punctualness for a whole year.
  • Making sure I read, not just books to my kids (but how can I not read “STAND BACK!” cried the Elephant “I”M GOING TO SNEEZE!” – okay I haven’t read it yet, but the title was too awesome not to pick up for 50 cents from the Library book sale.) but also books related to the genres I write in.
  • And all the while not ignoring the kids, hubby, dog and visitors (the In-laws are in town right now), part of which means making sure there is food in the house (totally failing at that right now) and doing laundry (failed that two weekends ago, but caught up last weekend)
Yeah – if anyone ever tells  you, or you think to yourself, I can’t wait till I’m out of school I’ll have more time – think again.  Eventually we all have to get out of the house and live on our own. With age comes responsibility, until you get so old you need someone to care for you, then you just sleep a lot.

Responsibility is just a weight on your shoulder and right now it’s making me grimace more than smile. Maybe once I have those costumes done....

} Cathryn Leigh is sorry this is more of a rant than anything else. She hates to rant, to anyone, even herself, which means she probably bottles up way to many thing for her own good. So she thanks you for reading. {


  1. *insert a large pile of hugs from Charley, and several others*

    Try and take it one at a time. Take out the little things that are just getting in the way first, and take chunks out of the big things as far as you can manage. Nothing makes a big job easier than breaking it down into smaller jobs - the jelly monster isn't half so scary when it's only half the size, you know ;)

    Other than that . . . . prioritise. It's not easy, and gods know most of those sound pretty important, but it's really the only thing one can do. Can you rope someone else in to help you out in your department at work while your co-worker is on maternity leave? Something like that might help.

    And finally, hormones. They suck. But regrettably they are inavoidable. Once they're gone, I hope, life will ease up a little bit.

    In the meantime, have more hugs. We have plenty to go around.

    1. *takes all the hug she can get and grins*

      Well today's the boss's last day - but that Avenger video perked up my morning (need to get back to work soon)

      Funny how writing things out can help you prioratize and start taking 'bites' out of it.

      I've got some back up - but I'm probably exagerating the work load I"m going to have - though I suspect when it rains, it'll pour. Heh...

      At home I've foccused on pounding out the Halloween Costumes. My son's was cut out last night - took about 3 hours. Now to figure out what part of it I want to assemble first. :}

  2. It's not a rant. At least, it's no more a rant than when I got irritated at people for talking through Hamlet. We're fine with rants. We can cope. Honest.

    1. Thank you, I'm glad you can. Sometimes just writing it all out helps to cope with it all, but I'm still...

      Well I never had a best friend for life, and so never got used to pooring out my heart and soul to anyone (execpt my imaginary friend).

      And now it feels weird to do so, like I'm asking too much of someone.

      My former boss is right, I realy do need to learn to ask for help when I need it. In may parts of my life.